Sometimes we get stuck in negative emotions that prevent us from being happy. When someone hurts us, we have two alternatives: either forgive and move on in our path, or suffer doubly for the damage and for the resentment we feel towards that person. It is clear that forgiveness has many more advantages than emotional stagnation, but it is not always easy to forgive.
Learn to forgive
- The betrayal of a relative, a boyfriend who has left you for another, a friend who has failed you… are situations that we have all experienced at some point, because people make mistakes and because many times we expect too much from others. And they are also difficult situations to forgive; however, forgiveness is a fundamental step if we want to overcome a difficult moment.
- If we do not manage to forgive the person who has hurt us, we will continue to suffer from that offense, humiliation or slight, as well as poisoning our own happiness by feeling hatred and resentment that will not let us move forward. So we need to forgive, but how to do it? Do not think that to forgive you have to forget, but accept what happened and find a way to affect you less and less.
- There are a series of steps that we have to take in order to forgive someone. The first is the recognition of the damage we are suffering, to what extent it affects us and how we can alleviate the suffering. It is normal to spend some time angry with the person who has hurt you, because you have to let that anger out, in no case will we keep it. Then we will move on to assume the situation and take control of our own lives, looking for a way to move forward preventing that person, or another, from having the power to interfere with our happiness.
Forgive yourself
- Actually, forgiveness is a complete liberation because it strips you of any negative feelings. And apparently, women are easier to forgive than men, perhaps because traditionally we are more interested in our personal development than they are. However, there is a forgiveness that is more difficult for us to reach: forgiveness of oneself.
- And it is that we find it easier to forgive others than ourselves. Self demand, perfectionism, excess responsibility, but above all, the feeling of guilt makes us unable to forgive ourselves for our own mistakes. That feeling of not being up to the job, of having failed your family for not having the life they would have hoped for, of having failed your partner for not being the woman he had idealized, and of having failed yourself for all the mistakes made, requires a more difficult forgiveness to find than when it comes to others.
- However, knowing how to forgive yourself is just as important as knowing how to forgive others. Because guilt and resentment are ballasts in our way, so we have to let go. We all make mistakes, you have been hurt and you will have hurt yourself on some occasion, but we cannot punish ourselves forever for it, nor punish others.