While we tirelessly pursue happiness and success and are bombarded with positive and good vibes phrases that lift our spirits for a few seconds but then bring it down to hell when we find that those phrases have no effect… While all this happens in our Today’s society increases the number of people with depression and anxiety disorders. Because? How come we are so unhappy? How come we don’t know how to handle ourselves in emotional life? If you think that you are doing something wrong or that life is not as you expected, pay attention to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. You will see life differently; and also happiness.
What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
- Acceptance and Commitment Therapy or ACT is having great success and is being used by more and more psychologists in their treatments. It was developed by Steven Hayes and belongs to the behavioral therapies of the Third Wave. This may not tell you much, it may interest you more to know that the goal of ACT is to lead a full and meaningful life by learning to deal with pain, which is ultimately inevitable.
- It is how to deal with pain and suffering that Acceptance and Commitment Therapy differs from other therapies. It has been proven that trying to control or avoid pain is counterproductive, since it only increases it. Then we come to the famous phrase that if you can’t beat your enemy, join him.
- One of the objectives of the ACT is to accept suffering as part of life and through its 6 principles it proposes different ways of dealing with it so that it causes less negative impact on our lives. And where we say suffering, we mean pain, anguish, anxiety, fear, frustration, anger… Everything that makes us uncomfortable and from which we usually want to escape with few results.
- And then? Then comes the time to act, look at his name. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is not just accepting; it is also committing to your values to give meaning to your life. If you have gone through that moment in which life does not make sense, here is a most interesting option to find it.
What is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy used for?
ACT may become a way of life, true, but psychologists are using it for major disorders like anxiety, depression, or even schizophrenia. It is also used in cases of addictions, to stop smoking and even to treat burnout syndrome at work. And the results are excellent.
But the truth is that once you get to know Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in depth, your perspective on life changes. You have to be careful how you understand the word “acceptance”, which does not mean “resignation “. Accepting a situation that hurts or makes you uncomfortable is not resigning yourself and suffering from it, but rather accepting that it is there, managing it so that it does not impact you too much in your life and that it does not cloud your mind in order to find the best solution.
The path of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is not an easy path, just as the path of life is not easy. But from now on you will start to be less afraid of the emotions that we consider negative and you will be less afraid of fear itself. Or at least, it will not prevent you from continuing to live a rich, full and meaningful life. What do you lose by trying the ACT?
What are the principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy?
If you want to know how to better deal with the obstacles that life throws at you and how to manage your emotions, pay attention to the 6 principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
Cognitive defusion
Cognitive defusion is one of the most interesting and novel aspects of the ACT because it teaches you to engage with your thoughts in a different way. You already know that the thought appears first, that thought generates a negative emotion in you and you believe both the thought and what you are feeling to the letter.
Surely you have already tried to resist that thought that causes you discomfort and you will have verified that far from disappearing, it becomes stronger. Well, with cognitive defusion you manage to reduce the impact of that thought by observing it from a distance. As?
Well, because the ACT relativizes the importance of your thoughts. It is not a question of whether they are true or false, but whether they are useful or not. Is it useful for you to think that you are worthless or that you are incapable of doing certain things? Of course not. So you don’t have to believe everything you think.
The acceptation
The second principle of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is precisely the famous acceptance. Here it is also about not resisting. Do you feel anxious, afraid or angry? Surely you do not want to feel that way and you resist. Then the emotion becomes more intense, larger, it envelops you and traps you. Accept it.
Take a deep breath and try to give a mental image to that emotion that overwhelms you. Instead of her enveloping you, she envelops you with your breath. Don’t judge yourself for having that emotion and be aware that it is there. She is there but she will pass. And it will pass sooner if you accept it.
The connection
In connection, ACT proposes mindfulness techniques to connect with the present moment. The famous here and now takes you away from emotional overflow and helps you to be aware that life is something more than that discomfort you are suffering. Observe and feel around you. Listen, watch, taste or touch.
For a moment you will get away from what worries you or anguishes you and you will see that that moment has also been real. That anxiety, sadness, anguish or anger exist, but they are also fleeting. If you focus on the present moment you will discover that there are more things that are as real as your suffering.
The Observing Self
Understanding the Observing Self is the most difficult part of ACT, perhaps because it is a bit removed from our Western culture. You will have to make an effort and transcend your Thinking Self to see your thoughts from another perspective and thus let them influence your life less.
This part is essential to be able to do the defusion correctly, to detach yourself from your thoughts, your sensations and your emotions as if they were not happening to you, as if you were seeing them from the outside. As an observer.
The values
Once the part of acceptance is over, the therapy already focuses on acting and achieving that full and meaningful life. How is it achieved? Wait, because before you get going, there is still a bit of reflection. What are your values? What is the most important thing in your life? Remember that these are your own values, not those set by society, family or your closest environment.
The ACT does not propose that you set specific goals, at least for now, but to set yourself, to remind yourself or highlight what is important to you, your values. Family, work, feeling good about yourself, love, generosity, friendship… That already depends on each one. But identify those values.
The Committed Actions
And now the time has come to act. With a better relationship with your thoughts and emotions and with your identified values, you can now embark on the path to a life full of meaning by committing to yourself. Now is the time to set specific goals and objectives and go for them. You may fall down along the way, but you will get up more easily because you are committed to those actions.
Do you want to know more about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy? We recommend Russ Harris’ book The Happiness Trap. Because to be happy you can’t continually try to avoid suffering, but relate to it in a different way.