Shy people, introverted people, withdrawn, not very sociable, insecure… they all have a common denominator that is low self-esteem. The close relationship between shyness and low self-esteem is well known, although we do not know exactly what is the cause and what is the consequence. Be that as it may, we strive to overcome shyness for the sake of our self-esteem.
How low self-esteem influences shyness
- We wonder if low self-esteem is one of the causes of shyness or is it shyness that causes self-esteem problems. The order of the factors matters little, because it does not alter the product. And the product of this great team formed by shyness and low self-esteem is an insecure, fearful, frustrated and dissatisfied person. In this way, overcoming shyness guarantees us at the same time improving self-esteem.
- The thoughts that fill the head of shy people are of the type ‘I won’t be able to’, ‘I’m not good at socializing’, ‘I’m not interesting’ or ‘I can’t do it’. They are all negative propositions that paralyze when carrying out any action, especially if it involves a social act. And if we know these types of phrases well, it is because we have heard them before: our low self-esteem repeats them to us continuously.
- One of the aspects in which this relationship between shyness and low self-esteem is most clearly observed is in self-assessment. Shy people do not dare to participate in a social event because they think they have nothing interesting to contribute, they are not interesting people and no one is going to take their opinion into account. In short, they think they are people of little worth.
- In addition to undervaluing oneself, one of the reasons that most induces shyness in people with low self-esteem is hypersensitivity to criticism. Shy people prefer to stay in the background or go completely unnoticed so as not to submit to the judgment of others. When the opinion of others is able to influence your mood so much, it is time to be more independent and improve your self-esteem.